Categories
Uncategorized

Your Doula and Her Bias: How to find a doula who will support you unconditionally.

On the heels of the recently drafted open letter to the Fed is Best campaign, it occurred to me that many Utah parents might be on the search to build an unbiased team of birth professionals.  I’ve got news for you.  No one is unbiased.  Because of our human experience, level of education, personality quirks, professional acquaintances, passions, and personal trauma (YES! I said trauma.), we ALL come away with fiercely and closely guarded value systems and opinions.

“I’ve got news for you.  No one is unbiased.”

The good news is that having biases doesn’t prevent a doula from providing unbiased birth support.  The Utah Doula Association actually doesn’t maintain a position on ANY of these divisive statements, in an effort to avoid mixing causes.  The Utah Doula Association has a primary purpose: to provide evidence based information, support, and mentorship to doulas of Utah as they seek to provide quality birth and postpartum support to local families. As an organization, the Utah Doula Association is neither for nor against any other cause.

“The Utah Doula Association actually doesn’t maintain a position on ANY of these divisive statements, in the effort to avoid mixing causes.”

Our goal is solely to offer information and support to Utah families who want to find a professional doula to provide continuous physical, emotional and informational support expecting parents before, during and shortly after childbirth to help achieve the healthiest, most satisfying experience possible.  This singleness of purpose does not prevent interaction with other organizations with compatible purposes, but the Utah Doula Association will carefully guard against mixing causes, however worthwhile that cause may be.  Why do we do this, you ask?  To create and maintain a unified, focused professional organization, able to work together to support a variety of families from a diverse set of backgrounds and experiences, regardless of differences of opinion on other issues.  So, how do you find a doula that will provide you with empathetic unbiased support?

First, turn inward.

Examine your observations and impressions of the doula you hope to hire.  What do you feel?  If you are looking for a place to see the doula and her interactions, come to a free local event, participate in the Utah Birth Forum, find a support group near you, or watch for guest blogposts by local doulas here, on the UDA blog.  Some of my favorites are International Cesarean Awareness Network, La Leche League, and local Positive Birth Groups in the area.

    • Do I feel comfortable around this person?
    • Is she warm, enthusiastic, and knowledgeable?
    • Does she communicate and listen well?
    • Does she seek to understand and empathize first?

 

Next, formulate questions for the doula you are interviewing.

How do the questions you have designed relate to the underpinnings of your own goals and beliefs about childbirth?  Take a look here for a list of the top 10 questions to ask in the interview.  Observe how she responds to your questions.  Does she put you at ease?  Does her communication style and skillset empower you?  Do you think clearly in her presence?

Know that the interview process is more about you finding who is the most comfortable fit for you.  There isn’t a right or wrong way to go about it, as long as you find the fit you are looking for.  A good doula will listen to you, hold space for you, and tailor referrals to your needs and hopes for the future in the event that she isn’t the absolute best fit for you.

  • Are you looking for someone who mirrors your thought process or who sets aside their own thoughts and experience in order to focus solely on you?
  • Will she support your choices or will she bring her own agenda into your birthing space?

“Bias and advocacy aren’t the enemy, a pervasive and divisive agenda is.”

Bias and advocacy aren’t the enemy, a pervasive and divisive agenda is.  Consider having a conversation about your/her biases, and ponder on how they might influence your hopes for the future.  In the interest of transparency and to satisfy your curiosity, here is a list of MY biases.

  • Kindness is always the answer.
  • The best provider will be one who believes in your ability to birth your baby.  Find a caregiver/hospital who ALREADY provides the options you want as an outgrowth of their birth philosophy and confidence in you.
  • My doula practice believes in purposeful inclusion of all people. Every family who hires me will receive the best of me and my skillset; irrespective of birthing philosophy, age, religious affiliation, sexual orientation, gender and its expression, family structure, marital status, race, cultural identity, nationality, mental and physical health/ability, political perspective, and educational/class status.
  • Breastmilk is the superior infant food, but it won’t be the best choice for every family.  “Fed is required.  Breast is the biological norm.  Making informed choices is best.”
  • I am a combat veteran of the United States Air Force, and that comes with a different perspective than many other birth workers out there.  You are not a “birth warrior”.  You are so much more than that.  You are a creator of goodness, a safe haven of peace and nurture, a normal woman who can call on the warrior when needed just like every other woman in your birth lineage going back centuries.  You are enough, and that is extraordinary.  Together, we make a good team.

 

***I recognize that not all doulas are female, however for simplicity and readability of this post, I refer to doulas using female pronouns.***

Rachel is a La Leche League Leader, mindful birth doula, childbirth educator, mother, military veteran and polyglot.

By Rachel Winsley

Thank you for visiting my profile. I look forward to knowing you and your growing family. It is my wish that as you think about this time in your life your mind, heart, and memories are filled with the love of your partner, the support of your doula, and the trust earned by your healthcare team. I look forward to hearing about your experiences, fears, and hopes for this birth as we tailor a birth and postpartum plan tailored to your specific needs. With the right education, support, and preparation I know that you can have a beautiful birthing time. If we aren't the perfect fit, I'll provide thoughtful referrals for other doulas. It is my hope that you will find the best doula for you, even if it isn't me. Good luck your your birth journey!

I am a birth doula, childbirth educator, lactation consultant, and military veteran. I worked exclusively with military women from 2007-2011. I have participated in continuing education to support birthing women with previous trauma every year since I started. I now work with a wide variety of women with diverse backgrounds and experiences. I enjoy guiding and empowering pregnant and birthing women throughout their birth journey. I have experience attending women through unmedicated birth, home birth, hospital birth, VBAC, birth at advanced maternal age, using epidural as a tool, special needs birth by cesarean, and vaginal breach birth with multiples. I have worked with couples practicing a wide variety of childbirth education and coping methods such as Hypnobabies, Bradley, HypnoBirthing, Birthing from Within, and Mindful Birthing. I can provide excellent referrals to midwives, OB/GYNs, chiropractors, IBCLCs, and a myriad of other helpful practitioners spanning from Salt Lake City to Logan, Utah. I feel that a good doula will work to maintain a positive working relationship with your provider(s), so as to foster a safe and peaceful birthing environment. I also run a scholarship program for combat military veterans who can demonstrate financial need. I pushed an initiative to have home birth covered by the Veterans Administration, and can help you through the process of having your claim paid. In some circumstances, I am open to bartering/trading for services. If you have any questions, please feel free to give me a call or take a look at my website www.mindfulbirthllc.com

7 replies on “Your Doula and Her Bias: How to find a doula who will support you unconditionally.”

For me an unconditional space is one without expectations, without judgements and without conditions. In a doula situation I do my best to share my love and support unconditionally and recognize and acknowledge the light inside of those that I’m working with and seeing past the facade that they may carry. This is truly an act of accepting and loving people right where they are at which is super powerful. I know women feel better about their birth experiences when they get to choose their experiences whether I think it is the best choice or not.

Love your words Rachel! My promise as a Doula is to hold space for my clients, offering encouraging words, physical support and empowerment. I believe every birth is beautiful and am honored to share in this incredible moment. Daybreakdoula.com

When I first started birth work as an childbirth educator 12 yrs ago I thought natural birth was the way to go and only sort of understood why anyone would choose another way. Over the years talking to and learning from others, I have found the understanding and beauty in all births . Now it is easy to shed my bias and be present for and help my clients have the birth that is best for them.
mothernurturebaby.com

I love everything you said Rachel, and completely agree with the ladies above. Birth is about choices, education, empowerment, and as a doula it’s about respecting my clients wants and wishes, and keeping my bias out of the relationship.

Thank you. While I hold a particular affinity toward hypnobabies, it is my desire to help mothers birth however they feel comfortable. I always try and remember that it is not my birth experience, but theirs. My job is to hold space for that family, whatever their beliefs or values.

I’ve always said that my job as a doula is to help my clients create ‘their’ best birth. From client to client that can change dramatically! I encourage women to follow their intuition, listen to their heart and create a peaceful birthing experience. Birth is a sacred experience that deserves the upmost respect.
peacefuldoulaservices.net

No one is without bias. So true. I know that I have biases and I practice mindful living to continue to learn to accept, love and appreciate people on their unique journey in life. We all have our own lessons to learn. Birth can be a pressure cooker to bring out incredible life lessons; in resiliency, empowerment, strength, connection to something bigger, overcoming fears, trusting, and surrender. Mindful birthing brings another level of awareness to these lessons and having a birth team who can support you to go where you need to go and hold the space with compassion and respect is invaluable. This is the space I work to come from with every family I work with, because this is their journey, and I am but a witness to the transformation of their lives.

http://starlightdoulaservices.com/

Comments are closed.